My sins!?

In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.

Today, when I came back from shopping, I started telling everything to my Mommese. I was also imitating people with whom I talked to. I was making funny faces, creating stupid sounds, and all that while, I noticed, my Mommese's eyes were locked on my face. Strange! When I gave her questioning looks, she nodded and softly said "Beta, you've got a short life". Amazed? Yes, similarly, I was amazed on hearing that, when my brother borke the silence and said, "Amma aisay nahi kehtay" (Mom, don't say like that). My Mommese again looked at me and said "That's good, don't you think so? There will be angels all around there to make her live happy. Think, as she'd grow up, she'd earn more and more sins, as we do. Heavens would be a better place for her". Then, I got up from the bed (we were sitting there), walked to the washroom for 'wudu'. Her words clouded my brain. I was wondering what made her say that. My over-joyous state or what? But, then the word 'sin' was constantly popping up in my mind.
She said, I'd earn more sins when I'll grow older. But was she right? I dont know. All I know is that my sins have outweighed the number of days that I have actually lived (or even more). And who's responsible for all these sins? Yes, me, myself, and I. Daily, intentionally, and unintentionally I commit sins, I do wrong, I don't act nicely as Islam wants me to act, I get mad at the slightest of things, when Islam has strickly forbidden us to show anger. Why, then why, am I like that?
That day, my grandmother was telling me (and my little cousins, too) about Jannah and Dozakh. She said, that those people who have done, both, bad deeds and good deeds, will be first thrown in Hell and after that they will be allowed to enter Heaven. So, I was wondering where will I go? Heaven or Hell? Good or bad? Immaculation or filth? Right or wrong? Faultless or faulty? I don't know! I really don't know.
I don't know how many more years am I gonna live. I don't know how many more sins am I gonna commit. I don't know when the Angel of Death would come and take me away. I don't know will Allah forgive me, for all the sins, for all the wrongdoings that I have done. But, yes I know He will forgive me, if I ask Him, and make myself strong enough not to commit the sins again. Let's do Tauba. Let's ask for forgiveness and peace. Let's ask Him to guide us to the Straight Path. Let's ask Him to make us clean, to make our souls and hearts clean. Let's ask Him to make our faith strong, as strong as a rock. Let's ask him for forgiveness.
Please Allah, guide us, for we are nothing infront of You. Please Allah, forgive us, for You know our intentions.
Ameen.

[Listening to "you are never alone". Thankyou Ahmed. Surely, you are never alone. Just reach into your heart and Allah is always there. You are never alone. Through sorrow and grief, through happiness and peace, you are never alone]
For flash version of this nasheed, click here.
Please remember me in your prayers. Praying for you all.
Ma'assalamah.